A Cup Of Fat

Last Friday evening, after an exhausting day of work (everyone was coming in to shop for the Lunar New Year), I went to my sister Emma's to help her make whoopie pies as an early Valentine's Day treat for her boyfriend. Whoopie pies are an odd dessert, with a texture in between a cookie and a cake. The dough is incredibly thick and hard to beat. It's very clay-like, actually.

Whoopie pies are supposed to be an American standard, but I don't get them. They're just not appetizing to me-- especially after straining to mix the dough. My sister said, while opening a beer for each of us, that whoopie pies were supposedly invented by some Amish farmer and that she didn't understand how they could make these without electric mixers. A very valid point because I don't get that either.

"Screw you, Amish farmer guy," I grumbled as I struggled to scrape the bowl with multiple spatulas.

The traditional whoopie pie is chocolate with a marshmallow filling. We were using the recipe from the King Arthur Flour Cookbook, which is a good, reliable cookbook. Their recipe for the filling called for a cup of powdered sugar, a cup and a third of marshmallow fluff (which is, in my opinion, one of the most disgusting and sticky foods in the world), saltwater, vanilla extract, and a whole cup of shortening. I almost threw up when I was mixing in the cup of fat. It was just so disgusting, and then it got n my fingers and was so greasy and ugh! I'm shuddering just writing about it.

The second kind of whoopie pies we made were cardamom-pistachio with buttercream filling, and my poor sister had a very difficult time shelling and chopping so many, many pistachios. These ones tastes infinitely better, but they weren't worth the massive amount of work, and we have solemnly agreed never to make whoopie pies again.

I hope he's liking his Valentine's Day present, with its cup of fat. Ew. Just ew. All I can say is thank the glistening stars above for Sam Adams beer and the Rock of Ages movie soundtrack, without which I never could have gotten through this particular baking experience.

With that in mind, allow me to wish all you readers a happy Fat Tuesday, AKA Mardi Gras. Beer is how I'm celebrating that too.

XOXO
Gossip Ghoul.