Gossip Ghoul: My Top Five Guilty Pleasure Movies

Saturday, August 10, 2013

My Top Five Guilty Pleasure Movies

Everybody has a few. You know, those movies you hide at the back of the shelf because when people come over, they're like, "Why do you own this?"

And you look at the floor and mumble in embarrassment, "I like it."

"But it's so stupid!"

Well, yeah. It's thoroughly stupid and badly done. You just really enjoy it a lot despite all its faults. That is a guilty pleasure movie.

I add the condition that in order to qualify as a guilty pleasure movie, one must feel embarrassed about liking it. That's why I never include children's movies. Kids' films always bring a sense of nostalgia, even when watching those made more recently. If you loved Toy Story as a kid, chances are you won't be embarrassed to admit you bawled your eyes out at the end of Toy Story 3. Of course, those are also well done movies, so they wouldn't count anyway.

I'm sure one of my friends would step forward and say, "Aurora K., why aren't you mentioning that you own almost every single one of the Barbie Movies and two copies of each of the first two Twilight films?" The simple answer is that I don't feel guilty about any of those. I unabashedly admit my undying love.

But some movies, on the other hand...

Here is my list of the top five guilty pleasure movies I own, in no particular order:

Picture from Tumblr.

1. Red Riding Hood: I was really excited when I first heard about this movie. A gothic version of one of my favorite dark fairy tales? Sounds awesome, right? Plus Amanda Seyfried is sizzlingly beautiful in that red cloack, and Gary Oldman is a great actor. Then throw into the mix bad writing, a mediocre at best plot, and far too much hair gel for the guys, and the movie really suffers. Not to mention, WTF was that dance scene? It's really bad, yet I enjoy it. Sometimes I'm in the mood for cheesy teen drama. Also, it inspires me to write dark fairy tales well in the hopes that this won't be repeated. There is some pretty beautiful imagery, though.

Also, Red Riding Hood led to this Sterek fan video, and that's a good thing.

See? It can't be all that mad of a movie if it can fuel my slash feels for a completely different fandom, right? Right?

Speaking of cheesy teen drama...

Picture from BoxOfficeProphets.com

2. She's The Man: Attempting to follow the footsteps of 10 Things I Hate About You as a modern adaptation of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew, She's The Man is a modern teen version of Twelfth Night. It stars Amanda Bynes, which right there should give you a notion of its quality. She's The Man doesn't measure up to 10 Things I Hate About You's witty and clever dialogue or its brilliant characterization. Instead it's just stupidly funny, relying on gender stereotype jokes and an over the top ridiculous love triangle (much more ridiculous than in the original Shakespeare, I feel). But sometimes I want mindless laughter, and She's The Man is perfect for unwinding after a stressful week.

Going from teen drama to preteen drama...

Picture from Tribute.ca

3. Sleepover: This is a really stupid movie about girls about to enter high school going on a scavenger hunt in order to become popular. Well, to get the popular girls' lunch spot. It is so ridiculously bad and two-dimensional, but it gives me a silly happy feeling when I watch it. You know, the thought that determination and the power of friendship could magically make your life better. Also, it has Jane Lynch in a minor role. Steve Carrell too, but I'm convinced the movie would not be as enjoyable without Jane Lynch, since she's made of awesome.

Picture from EW.com

4. The Hot Chick: Yeah, yeah, another high school movie. I remember seeing this in 8th grade at a classmate's house while working on a science project and finding it hilarious. It's an old movie -- so old it has Tia and Tamara Mowry, the twins from Sister, Sister in it, and it is such a badly done comedy. The thing that makes it brilliant is that Rob Schneider is scarily convincing as a teenaged girl. He really, really pulls off the part of a shallow blonde cheerleader trapped in an ugly man's body. I can't stand Rob Schneider in anything else, but he's ridiculously funny in The Hot Chick. Check it out some night with popcorn, candy, and a bottle of white wine or pink cocktails to be extra girly.

Picture from ComicVine.com

5. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: OK, yeah, I hear the collective gasps of shock and horror, the angry cries of "How dare you! And you call yourself an Alan Moore fan!" I like the LXG movie, ok? So send away the lynch mob. The LXG graphic novels are pretty incredible. Obviously. Alan Moore wrote them, after all, and he is a brilliant storyteller. To describe the movie as a very poor adaptation would be saying the very, very least, especially with the gross departures taken from every one of the characters -- both from the graphic novel and their literary origins. The LXG movie is one of those examples of films that give comic movies a bad name, like Batman and Robin or Constantine or Howard the Duck. Yeah, that's how bad it is. Considering that and how great the original work is, it was shocking to myself that I actually enjoyed it. Quite a WTF moment. Of course, Sean Connery and Richard Roxburgh probably contributed to my enjoyment, along with semi-badass vampire Mina (although WTF? In what way was Mina ever a chemist?!).

So there you have it: five movies I actually do own and watch when no-one is around. They're bad, but that's part of their charm. I certainly enjoy them more than popular, "successful" comedy Bridesmaids. But to each his or her own.